The following SCP's are all classified as Safe:
(Back to Main Page: SCPs)
SCP-504 -Critical Tomatoes EditSCP-504 appears to be a normal tomato. However, when a poorly-made joke is said within SCP-504s' hearing range, 504 will accelerate at about 100 mph to the source of the joke.
[EXPLETIVE]! These things hurt. How are these safe? Just having anybody near them who hasn't got an Adult SCP-504's sense of humour is going to feel pain. Agh, I'd hate to feel the same pain as Dr. Blast did when he was attacked by sliced tomatoes, that must have been [EXPLETIVE] sore. I believe this needs a promotion to Euclid, if not Keter.
Ya wee coward, grow a pair. It's yer - or whoever's - fault fer makin' a bad joke in the first place. Shaddup and stop whinin'.
-This SCP will have an important role in future updates of Lockdown.
SCP-517 -Grammie Knows EditSCP-517 is a fortune-telling machine that contains a mechanical doll resembling an elderly woman. Once a subject enters its field of vision, the machine will activate and dispense a fortune card from its front. After an amount of time, numerous entities in the form of hands, named SCP-517-01, will begin to attack the subject. No subjects have ever survived such catastrophe.
I say this is far too dangerous for those with no knowledge. Request to promote to Euclid.
Request denied. It's not like a random Class-D would randomly wander in front of it.
It has happened before, and could happen again. Maybe we need to inform all Class-D who are specified to SCP-517's area not to be careless around it, because idiots will be idiots.
[EXPLETIVE]! Something I can actually agree to this midget on! But I can agree on Dr. S███████████████ too. Ah, [EXPLETIVE]. Well, som'ing needs workin' oot, so better dae it.
SCP-529 -Josie the Half Cat EditSCP-529, more well known as "Josie", is an ordinary house cat (Feline catus) were it not for the rear portion of the body to be missing(i.e. the end of the ribcage). SCP-529 is gray with darker, tabby markings. DNA tests have shown Josie to be female. Despite the missing body parts, Josie has no health problems and walks as if her hind legs were existant. She will, on occasions, stop to 'make waste', even when she has no apparent ability to do so. When someone looks into the front half from where Josie is supposedly cut half, people are met not with her insides- but with a black void which absorbs all non-visible wavelengths of light. It is slightly yielding to the touch. When stroking of this 'void', Jodie has a slight chance of feeling satisfied and purs, though she will lash out on the stroker in some cases. Those scratched reported no abnormalities and no fear should lead to a petition for help support.
Request to promote to Keter. That thing's claws hurt like [EXPLETIVE]!
How could poor, little Josie be Keter? Sheesh. Go up to some cat in the street, annoy it, get scratched and you'd probably say that even it was a Keter SCP... Huh. Maybe we should start sending Class-D members out to find SCPs by stupidly efficient acts such as that.
Stop lovin' a stippit wee cat, ye eedjit. SCP-682, go pet that, yeah, go on, pet 682, 682 is so fluffy~! Now shut up. This thing is dangerous enough for Euclid.